#KingdomTestimonies
My Testimony or Life Story on how I met Jesus as my Saviour.
1. MY LIFE BEFORE I BECAME A CHRISTIAN
I was born on a farm, wonderful opportunities as a child. My parents were secular Christians, going to church now and then, reading the Bible sometimes etc., but with no personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I was baptized as a baby in the Reformed Church and as I grew up, thought I were a Christian as everybody else.
Therefore, from a young age I was “religious”. My Parents thought, and I also THOUGHT it, that I was mostly a very “good” boy and not too naughty.
But I did many terrible things that was only known to me: My personal secrets. The Bible calls it sin. My favorite teacher thought I was extremely cute and always preferred me over others, but behind her back I did more than naughty things. I even stole her sweets and of the school funds as well as other things behind her back. She never caught me out.
I had one good friend on the farm, a child of one farm worker. He led me astray many times. Once we tried to test the “fact” that a cat has 7 lives. We planned to kill this cat 7 times to proof it wrong. For me it still is a terrible afterthought, remembering what cruel things we did to that cat.
Unfortunately, there were more such stories in my life, that only I know about, myself and God. Many things in my life that God later slowly began to reveal to me. I slowly started to realize the meaning of the word “Sin” – those things that hurts God’s heart and was not to His glory at all. The verse in Rom 3:23 became more than a reality to me “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”
As I grew older, I experienced some of the hypocrisy from many so-called Christians, some whom were our church members. I realized how my own parents were living with a big hatred in their hearts towards nearby family members. We as children were not allowed to play with them (although one of the girls was really one of my favorites). I will not go deep into the background of this whole story, but the reality was that they did not want to forgive them or repent from their own sin. I started to question my parents’ sincerity as Christians and started questioning my own.
But I really wanted more. I really wanted to be sure that I was a child of Jesus, but did not know how; Many times, alone in the field, I prayed: "Please Lord Jesus, make me Your child." However, He never did as I expected it; appeared to me, or spoke to me in a voice as I was thought it should be.
I was also too embarrassed to ask anyone's help. What would they think of me? And one thing I became more and more sure about. Christianity must be a fake as most Christians I knew lived faked lives.
2. QUESTIONS ABOUT GOD THAT GREW STRONGER IN ME.
I remembered many times, even from a young age, I asked myself: Is God there? Can I be sure about God and that I am His child? And about all my sins, how to be forgiven and make peace with God, how to be sure that I will have eternal life and in heaven with God. This question grew stronger in me.
I read my Bible, but maybe I did not know how to read and understand it. I read about the conversion op Apostle Paul in Acts 9, how he saw a light and heard a voice, how he met Jesus himself. That idea got stuck in my head. I was thinking that God needed to speak like that to me. I asked and prayed, but that never happened!
3. THE DRAMATIC CONVERSION OF ONE OF OUR FARM WORKERS THAT CAN ONLY BE A MIRACLE!
During this time, I strongly doubted if repentance and a change of life is at all possible.
Then this happened: This man, who served on our farm for three generations, with great dedication as part of our household; somebody whom I admired very much for his natural wisdom and his love for me as a child; something happened to him, something that everybody called a miracle.
This man had one big problem: He was addicted to alcohol all his life, getting drunk nearly every weekend and then doing many bad things! My father tried to help him to recover many times, but he often said it was just impossible that he could ever change.
Then one day this man came and announced to us: "I am converted; I stopped drinking and also became
a Christian now". Everyone was amazed and skeptical about it. Impossible! This will not last!
But not only did he never use alcohol again; his whole life changed. His relation with his wife whom he beated up many times when drunk, also changed.
His testimony helped many other people to also took God seriously in their lives. And myself? I realized that real repentance and a change of life was possible.
4. HOW MY PARENTS WERE TOUCHED BY THIS MAN’S LIFE CHANGE.
These same evangelists that helped that man also started working among the farmers. They also came to visit my parents and heard about the bad relationship with our family members. They did not leave it there; they my parents to also accept Jesus as Lord and correct what was wrong in their lives.
As a young child I will never forget how my parents knelt and prayed and confessed their sins, how my father later drove away in his car, on its way to the other family - the people whom they hated for generations - to go and heal those relationship. This was the end of those unforgiving relationship.
My parents became truly spiritually anew after their conversion. I remember how they often kept quiet times for hours and read the Bible and prayed, also for me.
5. THE HUGE IMPACT THIS MADE ON MY OWN LIFE.
During my whole school life, but since then, I searched for God more urgently. I wanted so strongly to know how to become a child of God; how to be sure of my own salvation. But it never realized.
My search for assurance of salvation later developed into fear. Suppose I died? What will became of me? I did not want to go to hell. This fear for hell increased.
But I never shared these questions or fears with anyone. I kept them all for myself.
I remembered one time during a high school holiday, I was even too scared at night to blow out the oil lamp (we still had no electricity then.) In the mornings, my mother was annoyed with me because all the oil of the lamp was burnt out. A waste of precious oil.
I could never tell her the real reason for keeping the lamp burning.
6. HOW I FINALLY MET GOD AND CAME TO A PLACE OF PEACE.
My spiritual questions remained throughout my school career - the search for certainty to be a child of God.
During my last year of school, my father suddenly died, and it was a further huge blow to me.
The next year I had to go to University, to a place far away, for me it was a very strange and lonely experience that certainly made my search for certainty with God even more intense.
I constantly feared what would happen if I had to die; whether I would be acceptable to God. Satan, the evil enemy, constantly fed the doubt in me. I felt that God apparently did not want to answer me. My need for a sign or audible voice from God never materialized.
Then one Sunday night it became unbearable and I spoke to a senior student whom I met. I later realized this was God’s answer to my deep questions and searching for God.
I told this friend my whole story and my search for God for all these years.
I asked my friend: What must I do to be saved? To become sure of my Salvation in Christ?
That evening he simply and step by step explained to me the path to Salvation. He used Romans 3:23-26 for this purpose.
That evening for the first time I understood it and it made sense to me.
*Yes, we all are sinners (Rom 3:23 “...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”), but when I confess my sins to God, I am forgiven by the grace of God (Rom 3:24 “...by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” )
*Jesus' merits on the cross pay for all sin, including mine (Rom 3:25 “God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith.”)
*I learned I must accept God's promises of forgiveness, childhood, and eternal life by faith, simply believing the Word of God. (John 1:12 – Quoted later)
*My friend opened my eyes for the meaning of grace; that I did not have to do anything myself. I cannot do anything from my side to please God or earn it by myself as He already sacrificially paid all with His own death on the Cross. This is free! The moment I try to earn it from my side, I questioned the completeness of His sacrifice for me. He paid for all my guilt with His Life.
*He explained to me that my whole future life should be one of thanksgiving, to glorify and serve God for what he did for me. (Rom 6:13... “rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.”)
*Lastly, I understood the promise of being a child of God and forgiveness of my sins as being a gift from God that lead to eternal life (Rom 6: 22-23 “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”)
* I also realized that I did not need any experience or feeling to be sure of God’s love and forgiveness. I just had to accept it in faith! He promised it. It is true!
That night I did just that! On my knees with the open Bible, Joh. 1:12 suddenly made sense to me “But to all who received him, to those who believed in him, he gave the right to become children of God.”
That night, since the time I started looking for salvation from a young age, I was now for the first time sure that I was a child of God; sure of my salvation in Christ. I just know it!
From then on, the Holy Spirit opened the Bible for me; Bible study had become a priority and a joy. My whole life got new meaning; it determined the rest of my future life and decisions that I would have to make.
7. AM I STILL SURE OF MY SALVATION? ABSOLUTELY!
It is so wonderful to afterwards continually have assurance of the fact that I am a child of God, sure of my salvation in Christ, already starting the journey of Eternal life.
It is now more than 50 years since that night that I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
I never doubted this again; Up till this day I am still more than ever sure of it because that is what God promises in His Word, and that is enough.
Yes, I have times of doubt about many life issues, why the world is still such a terrible place, why there are still so much suffering, why so many people are still without the knowledge of Christ – 2000 years after Christ’s coming to this world etc., but this I know: One day He will return to finish it off when He will come again.
In the meantime, I cherish the Word of God in John 10:28 “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.”
What a privilege it was since that night to serve God! (That is a Life Story for another book).
What a privilege it still is to share it with you, until the day He will call me home.
Hallelujah.
Praise the Lord!
